so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I fill condoms, not promises.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize