garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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