yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
