it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's like iHOP with fire
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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