Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
