When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
