he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
