Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
