Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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