Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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