p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
