I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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