You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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