and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
