You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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