yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
