make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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