maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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