But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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