Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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