fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
