He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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