everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize