As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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