I'm lost and stupid without you.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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