So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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