I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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