porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize