We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
