Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize