i jhust puked up my retainher.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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