so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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