Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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