he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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