talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
