I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
