I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my moral compass just broke
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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