i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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