He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
