After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize