If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
