it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit