all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
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I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.