Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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