guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.