you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
