About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
