i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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