That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the day after is always just damage control
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
