On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
