somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
