Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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