you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
