phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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