Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
