if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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