I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
