he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
