just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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