you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
