Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
