she looked like the before picture.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
