I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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